Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Who Asked?



Vital’s doing screenshot round ups and that’s a great idea. Here’s one that probably won’t make the cut for their next batch. It’s a grab of Lopes yelling at the boundary of the ever encroaching abyss of increasing irrelevance, hoping desperately for an echo to bounce back out from the darkness and confirm that he does indeed still exist, and has not been lost like dust to the howling winds of time.


Yeah, your rival is the clock in a greater sense. The great equalizer. Time’s arrow pointed forever toward increasing entropy in a future where all things fade and the eventual heat death of the universe is inevitable.

But I don’t think that’s how he meant it.

Next time, we suggest that he just post the comment:

“Also, don’t forget about me!!!

How Does This Cut It?



Not sure how this, in 2018, makes it as something that would be posted and distributed to media outlets.

Also, nothing against those guys- they seem like nice folks who are knowledgeable about their respective jobs. Just how can over 6 minutes of media convey so little insight and information? How?

And also, how can one doing the editing on this not mix the audio to at least correspond to the side of the frame that the subjects are sitting in?

Do better, please.

Brand of Bullshit.



Harly Davidson producing e-bikes should not come as a surprise to anyone and is not, in any way, offensive. At least not when you compare that to the company itself, which may take home the grand prize for Least Authentic, Full Of Shit, Fake Ass, Jive Turkey, Cash Grabby, Chicken Shit Company in the USA, if not the world.




Times change. Business evolves. Sure.

It’s chicken or the egg when it comes to who changed, the company or the customers?

Both pretty much suck in this case ,so maybe they’re all perfect for each other, and now they can quietly hum off into a bottomless pit together, starting in 2022.

But This Is Ridiculous.



I’ve heard of air shocks before…




Val Di Wet.



Our field reporter has sent back an image of VDS conditions after the rain:



Check back once every few weeks for more hard hitting, investigatory journalism.

Rickety Pile.



Just looking at this picture automatically plays the sound of an old covered wagon crossing the plains in your head.



It’s definitely one river fording away from losing half its oxen and most in the traveling party will die of dysentery before getting to Oregon.

All Knolly bikes should come with that front wheel just to make you take a minute to question if riding the thing is a good idea.

(Conclusion: it’s not).

Shark Week.



Glad they have a gravel grinder version.

If anyone actually makes it through this video without their brain bleeding, let us know if there was a single shot of these goobers with a life jacket on in the comments.

Mountain biking might be full of bullshit, but we can’t compete with that.

Girvin/Noleen Born Again.



If you weren’t sick of whackadoo mountain bike fork news on here before, you will be now.

This company wants to bring back the Girvin linkage fork because it’s something we’ve all been asking for, just beating down the doors for companies to bring back to the market, just can’t shut the fuck up about how good those things were and how they would be king again if only there were a modern iteration of them…



Adroit? More like A-gouche… As in yuck.



In the press release, they claim that with an empty shock, there is so little friction that the weight of a single piece of paper can move the fork. Amazing. If that’s true, then certainly the weight of a single square of toilet paper should be plenty to wipe it right out the back door and into a pile of other dog shit.

If that were not enough, they have a lefty version which, honestly, they should have just gone with that to begin with, because if you’re going to be on the sex offender list, it might as well be for something more heinous than a little public urination.



Luckily, it appears that if you tried to put this on another frame, it would just smash half your downtube away the first time you tried to turn the bike. Hard to tell, couldn’t bring myself to read the rest of the press release. So for now, maybe it’s relegated to their own e-bikes, so no real threat of seeing one of these out in the real world.



Polar Opposites.



This video from the all time best ripper, Chris Akrigg, is a lesson in how one should aspire to ride a bike. Hard, aggressive, with confidence, and on the ragged edge of disaster.


And what he asked of his chain in this moment is incredible:

thats a strong chain


stay strong


On the other end of the cycling spectrum is this fork that no one asked for:

When your crowdfunding campaign to launch a product comes up short, that’s a sign that either the world wasn’t ready for this jelly, or (much more likely) that what you’re selling is dinosaur shampoo.

But hey, at least it comes in all the colors of the elements.

4 colors all poop

And a special Fif Element version coming just as soon as they sell and warranty all 8 forks of the first (and probably only) production run.

fif element


When you go out into the world this week, be more Akrigg.

Of Course They Did.



Cannonade just released their updated Lefty fork and it’s a single crown version.



Which looks like this:


And feels like this:


And begs:



But good for Cannonade still doing whacky shit after all these years from the Fulcrum DH bike with more chainz than your average rapper, to the Gemini with two shocks, to the triathlon bike with a roller blade shoe for a front wheel. Throw enough shit at the wall and maybe someday something will stick and really revolutionize the way we make and ride bikes. Until then, I’m going to stick with forks over struts that really don’t have that much stiction and don’t roast front hub bearings in twenty minutes.