TrivialMTB

Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Doppelgänger.

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Glitch in the matrix, Richie Rude is actually Michael Shannon.

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Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Didn’t think so.

IMBA Trail Building

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Tamp dat a$$.

Toot Toot.

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You know how hard it is to dig up the login for a stupid blog that you haven’t posted on in  over a year? Read into this what you will. Perhaps our personal lives have taken a recent shit. Maybe too much free time. Maybe we just missed Team Robot and are trying to fill that void with imaginary friends.

Maybe it was just to make a juvenile joke.

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This brand, which I’ve never heard of because who watches the x-games, will always and forever be FARTHOUSE in my mind. Thank god we finally got the punk rock, frosted tips, fmx type representation we’ve been in dire need of in the mountain bike world. I hope they sponsor a whole slew of bros in the Cat1 Sleeveless division with tank tops.

Anyways, probably won’t ever post on here again.

Phil Is Rad.

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EFF AN ASS THIS IS GOOD.

Writing In A Bike Video.

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This is easily the best bike video ever made featuring a 2010 Santa Cruz Nomad.

 

If you’re going to bother having voice over in a web video these days, take a note from this and put some effort into it. Have someone write for your video. And not just someone who took a creative writing class at a community college as pass/fail for credits. Like get someone who can write. It’s worth it.

Congrats to the filmmakers who had me sit through an entire video from Diamondback, something I never would have thought possible.

Talent.

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All the flips and tailspins and barspins and fancy pants’ed video game trickery in the world still don’t entertain me as much as an old fashioned wheelie/manual.

Most bike videos lose me after 7 seconds while this compilation had me smiling my stupid ass off for 7 minutes.

Maybe because instead of looking like he’s at work, he looks like he’s having fun?

It’s like how I’m impressed by Gee Atherton’s dedication to being an amazing racer, but what I still cling to is the shot of him bunny hopping his dh bike into the back of that shitty shuttle truck in Earthed 1.

It’s the weekend, go have some fun.

Stop.

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Sure we could have posted something about how our pants are full of fear-farts after watching Marcelo’s urban race run in the wet:

 

And sure we could have posted something critiquing excessive turn-baring in an otherwise fun enough looking trail video:

 

But why go for that higher concept stuff when there’s this low hanging fruit, bleach-in-your-eyes, lose faith in humanity video of some boner rollerblading on the north shore:

 

Do you know what the hardest part of riding roller blades on bike trails is?

Curating your overly coiffed hair into looking like you aren’t trying sooooo hard:

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Citation Needed.

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Look, be cautious of where you are getting your information in life. If you see something on wikipedia and no source is cited, maybe it’s not information you should put in your school book report.

Similarly, if this boner:

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Says Gwin is on YT next year, take it with a grain of salt this big:

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Because the guy also said (paraphrasing) “Bolt on grips? What a fad. What’s next, bolt on tires? No one will be using these things in a year.”

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Seems like the tea leaves and chicken bones were wrong for him on that prophecy.

So what if Gwin is riding for YT next year? Who cares. Are you going to buy one because he gets paid to ride it? Or are you going to swear off the brand’s bikes because Gwin races those? If that’s the criteria for how you go bike shopping, then you are a dipshit.

And maybe Gwin does end up riding for YT next year- and Zap was right:

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We’re looking forward to the race season starting just so there’s actual news to read about and we can stop treading water in a sea of Fox News commentary.

Drone Strikes.

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Who wants to start a betting pool with us on when the first mountain bike racer gets taken out by a drone strike in 2016? Aka, some dumb Cheeto fingered kid with a  rich daddy who got a Phantom for Christmas flies it right into a race course while trying to collect clips for a sick “web edit” of like Fontana or some equally trashy looking location.

Thanks, Obama.

 

 

Cultural Appropriation.

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Here we see Phil Atwill, giving us all a good reason to never buy a used bike from Phil Atwill, in a video featuring a pasty white guy from the UK set to ironic traditional intro music swapped out for more contemporary British punk music once the gag is over less than ten seconds in.

Highly entertaining.

Here we see Logan Binggeli being an incredibly talented bike rider while dressing, if not literally then certainly metaphorically/emotionally in blackface, to try and sell any KHS bikes set to music that has nothing to do with Southern Utah and the gag goes on for 5+ more minutes.

 

For some reason, this starts out with a tracking push into Kevin Aiello’s bike. The stock footage of Logan’s bike was out of the budget due to licensing for the music.

Image of Logan courtesy of Fraser Britton:

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At least in this video we get some inclination that Logan realized there is nothing gangster about riding a bike really fast and that the reality of his embodiment of the spirit of Ice Cube is more the present day Cube.

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So it’s not really serious but it also doesn’t really work.

Highly forgettable.