Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Month: June, 2015

Did You Know?


Did you know that manuals will never get old?

learnupyoMore manuals, please.

Routine Is The Enemy Of Time.

TrivialMTBLogo Ignore that this rad dude looks like a character out of a Portlandia sketch, and focus on the ideas presented. I’m going to bet that anyone who has any hate to spew about this is secretly jealous of his experiences.

It’s probable that nothing else about bikes is going to be as affective and important for you to watch as this video for the rest of this week/month/summer.

Also, Tom Shadyac on board as an EP? That’s cool as hell to see a credit like that on a web video about bikes.

Competition Not Neer-ly Fast Enough.


Congrats to that dude Shawn Neer for winning a real downhill race on a trail bike with a half dozen shocks, and for not getting his massive balls stuck in any of them while not touching his brakes.


Also congrats to Austin Warren for being on a team made of emojis as seen on a flip phone from 2003.

Trivial has acquired exclusive footage from Neer’s gopro of his race winning run:


Just Get It Over With



In an unusual midsummer release, Salsa has announced their new paradigm shifting model, the Suckasaurus.




Tire size: Bigger than what you currently own (buy it!)

Wheelsize: Bigger than what you currently own (buy it!)

Headangle: Slacker than what you currently own (buy it!)

Internet appeal: Superior to what you currently own (buy it!)

Roof Rack appeal: Roof what? (you’re on your own on this one, maybe strap it to your SUP, or whatever the fuck you actually ride on weekends)

Reach (because you still think you’re on a road bike): Longer than what you currently own (Buy it! along with our -1050mm stem)

Suspension Technology: You’re too core and too much of a soul rider to worry about that mess (Yes you will buy this)


We spoke with Salsa about what they were going for with this new model and here’s what they had to say:


“Tires and wheelsizes have grown, yes, but not what we consider fast enough in a world of horrible bikes for horrible riders. We wanted something that was basically just going to roll by itself, without any input needed from the rider. Turning? What do you mean by turning? Yeah, our customers don’t really do that. As far as bike handling goes, this one handles fantastically. Fantastically in that the bike just handles itself. You couldn’t control this thing if you tried. So handling by this bike is just great! It also never really gets going because as all proponents of fat and plus sized tires know, speed is scary!”




The Wait Is Over!


Great News.

With the addition of The Green Hornet, Trestle Bike Park now has a well rounded collection of trails ranging from strider-friendly to might-as-well-have-suspension.

The trail crews have been hard at work to build new trail that will open up mountain biking to more families and tourists and that’s great. No sarcasm, that really is a great effort to get new people involved in the sport.

Here’s the thing, most kids with striders have a dad that already rides bikes, so it’s not like that kid is suddenly going to start pumping money into the industry. Sure the family is going to have a better time in Winter Park when the kids can have their fun too while dad rides a bit, mom gets to pretend she likes the alpine slide, and the kiddos get to scoot down a dirt highway. But the kids aren’t going to bring any of their own money into the sport for another ten years, when they get a shitty minimum wage summer job. And by then, mountain bikes will all cost $16,000 and the minimum wage will still be $9.90 an hour.

I don’t know how much it cost to install an 8 lane wide brown highway on that mountain, but I also wonder who signed off on it as a good investment given the projected returns on family vacation spending that it might draw in?


But in the end, green trails are good things. They get people pumped on the sport without making them shit their chamoise and they keep the riff raft off the more difficult trails at bike parks (sort of). But then wait a minute- there aren’t any difficult trails at Winter Park where good riders might run over a goober that bit off more than they can chew anyhow.

There’s a few sketchy jumps that range from way too long to way too short in the same line, some wooden shit to fall off, and some parts of the EWS courses that could ball you up if you were asleep at the wheel, that were already on the mountain back when Manitou was relevant… but there’s no difficult downhill to speak of there.

When will we get news in a video release that trail crews have taken a downhill trail at Winter Park and added rocks, built appropriately scaled jumps, chopped whoops into the hill, and pointed it down something steep for a change?

The wait continues…

Damn Fine.


What does it look like to be video game good at riding bikes and not look like you’re trying so hard to be cool that you come across like a complete asshole?

Ali C always impresses. The dude doesn’t look like he’s trying to ride bmx. He doesn’t throw his bike in tantrums because that’s what cool kids do. He just kills it and does it in a way that is his own. Neat.

Be more like Ali C in your bike riding.