TrivialMTB

Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Category: Uncategorized

But This Is Ridiculous.

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I’ve heard of air shocks before…

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Val Di Wet.

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Our field reporter has sent back an image of VDS conditions after the rain:

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Check back once every few weeks for more hard hitting, investigatory journalism.

Rickety Pile.

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Just looking at this picture automatically plays the sound of an old covered wagon crossing the plains in your head.

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It’s definitely one river fording away from losing half its oxen and most in the traveling party will die of dysentery before getting to Oregon.

All Knolly bikes should come with that front wheel just to make you take a minute to question if riding the thing is a good idea.

(Conclusion: it’s not).

Shark Week.

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Glad they have a gravel grinder version.

If anyone actually makes it through this video without their brain bleeding, let us know if there was a single shot of these goobers with a life jacket on in the comments.

Mountain biking might be full of bullshit, but we can’t compete with that.

Girvin/Noleen Born Again.

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If you weren’t sick of whackadoo mountain bike fork news on here before, you will be now.

This company wants to bring back the Girvin linkage fork because it’s something we’ve all been asking for, just beating down the doors for companies to bring back to the market, just can’t shut the fuck up about how good those things were and how they would be king again if only there were a modern iteration of them…

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Adroit? More like A-gouche… As in yuck.

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In the press release, they claim that with an empty shock, there is so little friction that the weight of a single piece of paper can move the fork. Amazing. If that’s true, then certainly the weight of a single square of toilet paper should be plenty to wipe it right out the back door and into a pile of other dog shit.

If that were not enough, they have a lefty version which, honestly, they should have just gone with that to begin with, because if you’re going to be on the sex offender list, it might as well be for something more heinous than a little public urination.

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Luckily, it appears that if you tried to put this on another frame, it would just smash half your downtube away the first time you tried to turn the bike. Hard to tell, couldn’t bring myself to read the rest of the press release. So for now, maybe it’s relegated to their own e-bikes, so no real threat of seeing one of these out in the real world.

 

 

Polar Opposites.

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This video from the all time best ripper, Chris Akrigg, is a lesson in how one should aspire to ride a bike. Hard, aggressive, with confidence, and on the ragged edge of disaster.

 

And what he asked of his chain in this moment is incredible:

thats a strong chain

 

stay strong

 

On the other end of the cycling spectrum is this fork that no one asked for:

When your crowdfunding campaign to launch a product comes up short, that’s a sign that either the world wasn’t ready for this jelly, or (much more likely) that what you’re selling is dinosaur shampoo.

But hey, at least it comes in all the colors of the elements.

4 colors all poop

And a special Fif Element version coming just as soon as they sell and warranty all 8 forks of the first (and probably only) production run.

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When you go out into the world this week, be more Akrigg.

Of Course They Did.

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Cannonade just released their updated Lefty fork and it’s a single crown version.

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Which looks like this:

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And feels like this:

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And begs:

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But good for Cannonade still doing whacky shit after all these years from the Fulcrum DH bike with more chainz than your average rapper, to the Gemini with two shocks, to the triathlon bike with a roller blade shoe for a front wheel. Throw enough shit at the wall and maybe someday something will stick and really revolutionize the way we make and ride bikes. Until then, I’m going to stick with forks over struts that really don’t have that much stiction and don’t roast front hub bearings in twenty minutes.

Change, Always Change.

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So we’re going to be doing Super Boost Plus now? Why not just skip ahead to Mega Deluxe Boost Advance? It’s a 750mm width hub that is great for plus bikes, 29ers, downhill, xc, 4x, and recumbents.

Well, one thing you can count on still being good to party by then will be trusty old ISCG05.

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What a treat that you can still use that if you want to.

 

Sprung 6.

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Forgot to move this from the drafts into published, whoops.

Loved seeing something of a longer format from the greatest.

Really hoping there will be more of this from the season because this was the tops. All those kids bombing the hill at max speed is automatically on the list for highlights of the year in mountain bike media.

Hail, Alex Rankin!

Another Ellsworth Owner. Oh Boy.

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Can you believe that it took BST Synergy Nano only 3.5 years to figure out that purchasing Ellsworth is the cycling world equivalent of buying a haunted children’s doll at a spooky estate sale and then wondering why nothing in your life is going to plan and dead bodies keep coming out of the walls and floors of your home? Maybe they figured it out sooner, and they have just had a hard time finding someone else to foist the brand on.

Enter ASG International, a company with a website featuring a flash animation style intro from the same bygone geologic era as the last time anyone might have mistaken Ellsworth bikes for something tolerable. http://www.asgint.com/en/home/ Woof.

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You think maybe the horror was over but it just keeps being coming back again and again.

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Should have listened to the “kill me” message.