TrivialMTB

Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Interyuck.

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If the coverage of interbike 2015 has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t have to try very hard to look like a stupid, swollen boner if you dress in all the new gear that comes out every year. Reserving full judgement until I see the stuff from the couple of companies that anyone actually gives a shit about for cycling apparel.

But god damn, this is pretty much still what mountain biking looks like:

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Check Me Out, Bro.

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When you look at your own “roost”

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You look like this:

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Old Is New.

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RST is making a new inverted fork for enduro and trail riding. This is… shocking news… (get it?!) as we were completely unaware that RST was still a company. So congrats to them for their continued existence!

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We hope that they have carried valuable information from their previous foray into the inverted fork market with the Mozo XXL to apply to this new fork.

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And it seems that they have indeed with this photo demonstrating the “And This Shit Just Broke Right Off Technology” … Can’t wait to see how it rides!

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Note- yeah, no shit, that’s how the through axle design works, it just looks like the thing broke in his hand to us. It’s a joke. You know, like… jokes? 

Dangerous.

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Crossing the street is dangerous. Stepping into the shower can be dangerous. Driving down the highway is dangerous. Not chewing your food thoroughly is dangerous. But most mountain biking is really pretty safe.

Next time you think you’re risking your life by going “hard” out into a handful of rocks left behind by the IMBA trail sweeping crew on your local trails, remember that those big tires, strong brakes, and heaps of suspension will probably bail your ass out just fine.

Also, you and me and everyone you know is a delicate little scrotum compared to Drew:

How Schwalbe names their tires

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Clean Whistle.

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You know what’s cooler than doing copy-cat trials on a road bike?

Doing trials on a trials bike.

You know what’s cooler than doing trials on a trials bike?

Riding like Ali C.

Uncertainty Principle.

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BMW and Nicolai bring the world: a German made, belt drive, full suspension, e-bike…

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The Heisenberg.

If the uncertainty principle applies, then one riding this bike could know exactly the velocity of you’re being a tool, but not the location of you’re being a tool… or vice versa, but never both pieces of information at the same time.

Either way:

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Mottolino Must Suck.

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Maybe don’t try selling your mountain bike park as a destination by having a dude ride it in your promo video on a road bike right after a couple of toddlers roll through.

Road Bike Party 1 and 2 were both super entertaining. Trials on a road bike is a dumb novelty but in those videos, it was something fresh and original. This guy’s royalties must be drying up from his few clips in Jib 2 with Thor Wixom so I can’t blame him for this derivative garbage. When your unemployment rate is like 12.5%, you might as well take whatever job some asshole will give you, right?

Ugh.

Slinging The Goods

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If you’re going to try and sell the public some silly shit like a whole new batch of “standards” like 27.5+ and all that, then you might as well sell it with an equally silly ass marketing pitch.

Charge and Alex Rankin have done this perfectly here. That bike looks fun in this video. While I don’t reckon I’ll ever be the target demographic for this bike, at least it’s being sold here to kooks and goofballs, and I’ll always appreciate that kind of honesty.

Congrats again on not following the bike industry practice of shitting in your hand and telling us it’s candy.

RIP Marzocchi.

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Could this be the last time we hear about Marzocchi dying?

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