TrivialMTB

Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Media Conglomerate Schmedia Shmlomerate.

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Another nail in the coffin of Dirt Magazine.

https://dirtmountainbike.com/news/steve-jones-bids-farewell-dirt.html

Bought out by Factory/Mpora.

Regular print version killed.

Mike Rose leaves.

Steve Jones leaves.

Those who remain do their best to deal with their corporate overlords but they can only bail buckets of water out of the sinking dingy so fast…

Hey, head office schmucks, now it’s really time to update your staff contact page:

OLDASSINFO

Try Riding Harder.

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We’re torn.

On one hand, the thing we want to poke fun at is infinitely detestable. On the other hand, we don’t even want to give it the credit of acknowledging its regrettable existence. Oh, the moral quandaries we face running this irrelevant blog!

Instead of spending $1200 on a thing that simulates a limited window of what it’s like to ride a bike, why not invest in one of these:

 

The end result is the essentially the same- your wallet is a lot lighter, you wiggled around a handlebar,  and the process made you look like a diaper full of hot baby shit.

 

Good Things.

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This is about as good as something can be:

 

Not everything has to suck. I know, rare opinion to be having around here. But This video and everyone who put int he hard work for it are worth talking about.

Plenty happened in the last week that frankly isn’t even worth mentioning because it’s so played out, tired, and obvious ice-is-cold level observations. You can draw your own conclusions about podium punches and ‘exercise’ machines in the parking lot of bike parks.

What’s more interesting is speculating how many days of shooting it took to get that Casey Brown video done. I’m guessing three. If it’s less, then way to go on the crew for getting Usain Bolt to move cameras between shots with that quickly fading golden hour.

Great riding, great shooting, great scenery. This was fantastic.

Afton-School Special.

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Use the promo code: LILKIDSHOEZ on the Afton website for 10% off your purchase, free shipping, and a purple Jan-Sport backpack. You’ll also be automatically entered in their monthly contest to win a trapper-keeper with an airbrush art cover on it featuring your choice of dolphins jumping through a nebula in space or Bugs Bunny wearing a backwards baseball hat and sagged out JNCO Jeans.

AfterSchoolSpesh

 

I’m not saying that anyone else’s mtb shoes look any better. But it was kind of hard to beat the original all black Impacts for innocuous looking bike shoes. Those just looked like hiking shoes. Pretty much every shoe since then that’s tried to look “stylish on and off the bike” has been laughable. Like mountain bikers need any help advertising our lack of social prowess…

Wanna Talk To The Mayor!

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Everyone in charge of making this deserves some congratulations.

 

Keep writing those checks for shorts like this, Diamondback. The last few years of the brand supported videos have been superb.

 

Ain’t No F***in’ Ballpark.

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Okay.

After 64 seconds of overly dramatic Anthill build up with a bunch of spooky children of the corn looking imagery:

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We finally get to see some riding shots of the “new D1” trail.

Let us be clear, the trail looks great- appears to be tons of fun.

Know what it doesn’t look like? Anything built with a D1 shovel.

I can’t wait to someday look stupid trying to ride it (failing miserably to clear the first hundred yards or “meters” and then crashing myself out for the day).

GoAway

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GoPro announced their hopes and dreams for clinging to life as a company today with the new GoPro6. Is it any coincidence that the basic shooting specs of their cameras are the same as every new cell phone that comes out year after year?

4k60 and 1080p240 are all the hot new rage that you can have in a gopro or in your iPhone 8/x/samsung firestarter/whatever. None of this is new and no one really cares.

Here’s why it’s hard to give a shit:

 

It’s the same so-pitted, sand dune dirt bike roost, fresh pow bomb, green on black Iceland aerial, attractive-fancy-upper-middle-class white folk shit we’ve seen a million times before, just a little sharper and a little slower.

The dope stuff from that promo was the diving material and the gorillas. That was cool. That was new and interesting, and put these dumb toy cameras in less expected places, and resulted in great promo material. That made me want one more than any of the extreme sports, mountain dew, irrelevant x-games commercial content by a massive margin.

And, honestly, the family vacation stuff can stay too because a lot of people that buy gopros are never going to do anything more extreme than a paddle boat ride in a foreign city for their once-every-5-years vacation. In a decade, you’ll probably want to look back on that time you were smiling with your little kid more than that time you skidded your way slowly down a blown out trail. You can (and will) always be a shitty mountain bike rider, but you can’t turn back time once your child becomes an asshole teenager.

Work Smatuh.

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Thanks to the insights of a farting commenter on here, the Scott bikes unofficial motto of “Work Smarter, Not Harder (AND MAYBE CHEAT A LITTLE)” was accidentally unveiled as a selling point.

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Genius indeed.

30% more room adds stiffness and conveniently more space for a motor. (But why not make it 33% bigger or 37% or 180%, what’s stopping you, Scientists? So preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they… should?!)

Could this be the reason behind little Niño’s perfect world cup race season?

Tune in soon for the results…

 

Spoiler- no, that guy doesn’t have a tiny motor in his bike, he’s just a freak. `

 

Doppelgänger.

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Glitch in the matrix, Richie Rude is actually Michael Shannon.

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Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Didn’t think so.

IMBA Trail Building

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Tamp dat a$$.