Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Month: October, 2014




Does anyone else see the irony in this?


The dude’s screen name is “MissingLink” and he’s reviewing a bike that has notoriously been criticized for having extraneous links out the anus.

You can read it here.

His review is solid and included information that I’ve always wanted to know about Knolly bikes such as:

“Does the bike prioritize traction over pedaling efficiency over flatter ground?”

“Can I put a Cane Creek Double Barrel Air on this bike to mimic the Yeti 575’s loaded diaper prowess?”

“Can I still fingerbang the frame when running a 2.5″ tire?”

“Is the retail pricing of these frames artificially inflated and, follow up question, can I find them for sale from bike shops desperately trying to unload their cursed stock of these things?”

Anyways, not bagging on that guy at all, he’s stoked on his bike and that’s great. If anyone else were to win a Jenson gift card for writing a review about a Knolly, they would probably use it to buy a season’s supply of wrenches and lube to tighten and quiet their 73 pivots.




It’s taken me a while to catch up on the latest and greatest mountain bike videos, because frankly, it’s hard to give a crap right now.

But The Robots are certainly not alone in the likely unpopular opinion that this video from Yeti is a real yawner.

The song used was hopefully free, because that came across like a watered down version of water. It’s a shame that any attention that was placed on the sound design of the piece was undercut by a song that feels like a computer imitating a snowboard bro-video.

And it’s a shame that the editing felt like a “look at me!” plea for attention so loud that I couldn’t enjoy the beautifully shot footage of one of the world’s best bike riders in one of the world’s greatest bike riding locations. We get it, Craig, you took some online editing course or read a book about Premier Pro or something… neat. Let’s see you tone it down and maybe allow for a shot to play out uninterrupted on screen for once. Just because you shot on a Red does’t mean you have to post-punch in for a close up half way through every cornering shot. The editing of this is the high brow equivalent of putting every instagram filter on a single photo and calling it sophisticated.

Usually Yeti videos are pretty great, but this one missed the mark big time for these Trivial idiots.

Insufficient Anti-Throttle.



This scene from a shitty movie is exactly what you look like if you’re riding Hayes brakes from the last decade:


Have fun on your Sunday rides, everyone.

And good luck stopping before the cliff, Stroker Trail chumps.

3rd Eye Blind.



What the hell is this garbage?



Way to go Zowa goggles. Welcome to the market. Please enjoy your brief stay here as the competition and consumer demand will both hopefully weed you out of existence tout suite.

The goal of this company seems to be providing you with a goggle with  the lens extends all the way up to your receding hairline. Nice. That’s great for the psychic third eye that I use to both predict that this company will not last, as well as modeling gigs for the illuminati.

Here’s a tip if you can’t see very far up ahead:


There, just saved you some cash and allowed you to continue using your current, non-dipshit goggles.

Best part of that tip is that it works on basically any brand of helmet so even if you’re stuck for some god forsaken reason running a Kali helmet, this tip will still help your fashionably challenged ass.




What a joke.



Also, the bike isn’t very good either.

The extra several inches of bottom bracket clearance over the competitor’s bikes makes sure you don’t rip a toe nail off while shredding the bike park in your flippie floppies.

The low saddle height combined with the slammed forward rail positioning makes sure your jorts never get snagged.

The Continental downhill tires ensure that you always have a flat tire so you can’t go much over 5 mph and lose your sunnies tucked into your collar.

And yet the Germans will still buy this…

Is No One Going To Say This?




Here’s an unpopular opinion for the internet: The Cane Creak Double Barrel Air is a terrible shock.


I define my great as a Fox RP23 from 2008 then.


I’ve ridden several bikes that I would have otherwise been pumped on with this shock, and they all felt like a frown faced Yeti 575- which is to say, one of the worst best-selling-bikes of all time.

“Oh you probably just didn’t have it tuned right, because you’re stupid.”


I didn’t spend six days dialing in every adjustment on the shock each time I rode it. But I know where I roughly like my rebound and when the spring is too hard or soft. And when messing around with high and low speed compression settings still didn’t do much to eliminate the mid-stroke poopy diaper, then that tells me something is wrong with the shock, probably the spring rate? And when that happens across several suspension platforms over a couple of different years, then that tells me the DB Air is an overrated product.

Or at the very least, it’s set up for people who have vastly different ideas of what they are looking for in suspension. Like maybe they care that it really gulps those medium sized bumps when they are rolling down the trail, ass planted firmly in the saddle as they drag their brakes through every turn.

It’s my opinion that fiddling around with a jillion knobs and dials is just placebo tinkering and arm chair racing. I’m going to make an overarching and unsubstantiated claim that 93% of your adjustable suspension performance comes from spring and rebound. All that other stuff is crap that you are likely not good enough to really notice.

Not to deny all progress though as dampers have come a long way so a current DB Air is still a huge upgrade from a Fox Alps.

I’m not a suspension engineer so what do I know.

Not Lost In Translation, AKA Rankin Boner.


Rankin cuts together some mighty fine footage from Japan for Charge and proves yet again that riding bikes can take you to some amazing places.


It’s Always Sunn-y In France.



Sunn is back and they brought with them all the travel needed to win World Champs in 1997 by the looks of it.



Half of the rear travel seems to come from the leaf spring suspension seat post built into the frame but that has a lockout feature in which you put a wattle bottle in there. Why they didn’t go with a Lefty fork to match the apparently Righty swing arm is beyond me. Well, no I guess then they would have only been able to mount one front brake then and that shit don’t party. Clearly this bike was never meant to be ridden or they wouldn’t have put those Hutchinson tires on it. Should anyone attempt to ride this thing, they would double flat on the first pebble they encountered. The 23 inch chainstays are probably stable up to three hundred miles per hour though, right?

Wait, is that what this bike is for? Some stupid world speed record attempt? Hence the stupid low seat, dual front brakes, the “there is no reason to turn this bike” stem length, and no other discernible functionality?

But I tell you what, a belt drive gearbox drivetrain is interesting.

I get that this is probably a “concept” bike and those aren’t always intended to be realistic, but this thing looks like an impractical vision of the future in the vein of flying cars and robot butlers.

Welcome back, Sunn. Looking forward to the real effort.


The Point.



Mark Appleyard is pretty good at skateboarding. You know this.

But did you also know, he has his head on straight about bikes too?

Don’t get too caught up on the q-factor of your new clips and cnc’ed Garmin mounts.

Go ride your toy and have a nice life.




The only thing this video is really missing is the voice over explaining what it means to be a freerider looking for new terrain while hanging with your bro-brahs.

Otherwise, yeah, pretty accurate.