Pretty much hate mountain biking.

Month: August, 2012

Cooler Than MTB.



Shouldn’t need to explain this one much. The name of the image file was “gnargap.jpg” and every mountain bike photo that has ever been named that looks like riding off a curb in comparison.




Wouldn’t it be great if this was where IMBA headquarters was located?

I got a stern lecture from a hiker the other day about my skidding practices on the trail because he claimed that it made for a lot of work to fix that erosion. I asked how many hours of trail work he had volunteered for in the last year. He stammered and eventually confessed that it was zero. Roughly infinite percent less than the (admittedly) measly ten hours or so I’ve done in the last year.

Also a drift ain’t a skid so that hiker can:

Akrigg > Whatever.

Try as hard as you want, there’s nothing in this video that you can hate and still call yourself a reasonable human being.

Your Team.


Your Team:





Not your team:

Bike Industry “Standards”


When ever I think about how there might be a minor issue with the parts on my bike or how I maybe had to do some filing or bending to get a part to fit properly, I think to myself, “Gee, if only there was some kind of new “standard” that would address this very minor non-problem…” and then like god damn clockwork, some dipshit engineer puppet with a marketing employee’s controlling hand up their ass introduces the perfect solution to a dozen competing standards– a thirteenth standard.

And then it’s force fed to the masses as the thing they can’t live without (amazing how we’ve all made it this far already without that thing that increases frame stiffness by 3%, right?) via media outlets who have to post those horse pile press releases in order to appease the very releasers who advertise on the sites, and then already struggling local bike shops have to buy new tooling, stock even more inventory, and try to explain whatever this shit is to customers who are just going to go buy the new crappy standard online anyway, probably through vendor co-op promotions put out by the very media sites who posted the press release for the stupid new standard in the first place.

It’s enough to make your anus bleed.


Don’t worry, there will probably be a new standard in bike shorts to help reduce anal spotting by up to 2.7% here soon.

How To Be Awesome! (?)

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Mountain biking: the safe haven for mushroom tipped grips, ten speed shifters, low rise handlebars… and special purpose kid crotches.

This Was Good.



This was a good bike video:

It wasn’t about flexing your slow motion dick, it wasn’t about using agro music that only 14 year olds (and those with the maturity peak of a 14 year old) enjoy, it wasn’t trying to be super epic brah, it wasn’t too long. It was just a passionate rider talking about racing, some probably not licensed “found footage,” and some decent photography (and stopped down when it needed it too). It was honest and that’s something that you can hardly find in a damn mountain bike video.

Gamut chainguides, for your part in commissioning this piece of art, you will forever have our allegiance.

Things Cooler Than 99% Of Mountain Biking






That time Jeremy Renner “accidentally” took a viagra on a plane instead of a sleeping pill and was just rocking a raging woodrow the whole flight…


Cooler than any mountain bike story we’ve heard this week.

Cooler Than Mountain Biking


People like to pretend that mountain biking is super “edgy” but really nothing you’ve ever done on a bike compares to this right here:



I have literally no desire to ever do something like that but I will keep this image in mind the next time I hear about some dummy mountain biker telling a story about how he “almost fell off a cliff” or some junk about how they risked their life. No you did not. See above.