Interpuke.

by trivialmtb

TrivialMTBLogo

 

Here’s a little bit of shit from Interbike. That’s a redundant sentence and they teach you not to do that in journalism school. Probably. I would’t know. I’m a (tiny) part of the mountain bike “media” so what would I know about proper reporting, right? Point is, pretty much everything about Interbike is shit.

This view right here:

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Is why the Colorado River looks like shit before it even gets to Mexico:

dry-delta

Fuck Las Vegas.

Check out this free press that we’re giving away to Ellsworth. Outside Magazine and Ellsworth’s bike designs were seen hanging out back in 2006, giving each other woefully behind the times dry tug jobs at a skeleton party while talking about how great high school was.

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Ye Olde Timey Magazine gave shout outs that year to Eli Whitney for his new fangled cotton gin and also dismissed domestic electricity as a novelty fad that will never catch on. Nostradamus was a guest editor for Popular Science in 2007 which is exactly why you are seeing everyone on an Ellsworth Ride instead of behind the wheel of a car or riding a more practical bicycle like maybe a citibike.

And this company really showed their ass to the public with their line of soon to be broken phone contraptions.

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Most companies try to bring out the goods for an industry’s flagship trade show but not these guys. A-Game is not in their vocabulary.

Mount the bike driveside inward on the stand.

Get a beat up single pivot, aluminum Santa Cruz with era-acurate parts because a new loaner bike would make it look like you started preparing for your booth before yesterday. At least the last decent set of brakes Avid made was well preserved on this bike they found on Craigslist for $600. The budget didn’t include a wet rag to wipe it down for the show though.

Make sure the safety platform in still clipped into the pedals because you never know who’s going to want to test ride your rig. There’s probably plenty of open isle space in the way back corner of the venue for people to get some speed going.

And make sure to mount the vanity cam along side the forward facing one that is pointed at the sky because everyone loves watching those angles. Make sure to make a product that no one will ever use because mounting a camera to a handlebar virtually ensures a useless video full of overcorrecting steering, and shaking camera that would make even JJ Abrams sick to his stomach.

This soft turd of a company is so dead it’s not even worth mentioning their name.

Maybe there will be more hate from Vegas soon. Until then, go for the worst ride of your life and still have a better time than 30 minutes spent in Vegas.