Ellsworth-something-apparently.

by trivialmtb

TrivialMTBLogo

 

Just heard about Ellsworth being purchased by some company called BST Synergy Nano. It boggles my mind that anyone would buy one Ellsworth bike, so to hear that someone would come along and buy all of them made my head explode with does-not-compute.

They said they plan to launch a new components line and revamp the bike line.

Trivial MTB has acquired some exclusive behind the scenes footage of just what the process of revamping Ellsworth’s bikes would take:

thisshitisworthless

Maybe things will get done faster under new management and employees can focus on building bikes not stuck in the 90s when they aren’t required to sit down when they pee at the company offices any more?

Further investigation has shown that their first component will be a set of carbon bars that weigh about 125 grams, 730mm wide, and will come in 6mm and 15mm rise… so basically super expensive, super light, super low, skinny ass bars for people who suck at riding bikes… i.e. the entire existing Ellsworth community  base. Know your customer, right guys?

Best of luck to BST Synergy Nano in their sisyphusian struggle ahead to get those bikes rideable by mid-20-teens status.

By the way, your name sounds like a 30 Rock joke. BST Synergy Nano: setting a new standard inupward revenue-stream dynamics.