Hey, it’s not too late to do some craigslist Christmas shopping.
Take for example this gem of a posting to sell a hodgepodge of aborted fetuses (fetii?).
Santa is apparently carrying a bag of reindeer shit this year next to a bag of wanted gifts. And you only get that bike if you’ve been naughty? So if you’ve recently been the mastermind behind a successful genocide? Shimano STI XT junk, Race Face square taper cranks maybe, that frame, some bro-brah goggles with heat-vision spare lenses, and a sweaty helmet. All for $1,200!? Since it’s craigslist and you are required to haggle, toss in a kick to the dick shaft and we’ll call it a deal.
In conclusion, I’d rather have a lump of coal shoved up my ass.
On the plus side, the finish on that generation of Boxxers was the best ever.