No Thanks.

by trivialmtb



Not even sure where to begin on this piece of shit. 

First off, I know nothing about this company or what they do or who made the video and I’m not interested in showing enough respect to them to learn anything about it all so here’s some wild speculation. The company makes… I don’t know t-shirts or something with crappy graphics cheaply screen printed on them? I have no interest in that and neither does anyone else. That company knows a guy who owns a “video production company” and that bro got contracted to make a video. His compensation was probably that he would have a killer opportunity to shoot something that he could use for his reel and a bunch of product. Also, they had a “model” lined up that was going to get a lot of attention. And this is a reach but I suspect she’s the girlfriend of whatever caveman is in charge of the maybe-t-shirt company? Again, I don’t know. 

So anyways, to the positive end of things, she obviously can ride a bike better than 95% of the dudes who are drooling (with their penises) all over their keyboards watching this and commenting with rave approval on the interwebs. Good for her. She is also obviously well endowed in the chestal region. She’s also a person and probably a very nice person who has a wide range of interests and a reasonably well developed adult personality, but we would never know that from the limited scope of the video. I guess that doesn’t sell shirts? 

And back from the positive intermission to the negative main feature. It seems that the number one rule in women’s mountain bike riding is “don’t crash on your tits.” Sure there are other things but really, that’s like top billing. And likewise for guys, rules one through three are don’t crash on your weird balls and your sweaty, chamois pickled dick. You never see a dude out there with half his bean bag catching the breeze because obviously no one wants to see that shit but also, no guy would ever be like, “Yeah, I’ll compromise my safety to sell some dumb shirts for this terrible video. If I’m going to compromise my safety, I’ll go try to qualify for Rampage or win a race or whatever.” Had the video been a handful of shots of her above average riding in normal coverage mixed with doing other things like hanging out with friends, eating a meal, and running errands with her ample knockers on display my reaction to the video would have been a lot less blasé. 

The real boobs here are the ones who thought this video was a great idea.