Broken Promises And Stupid Dreams.
Like a blissfully stupid girl who just keeps trying to date guys with throat tattoos, I get suckered into trying a 29er once a year or so, only to realize that no matter how much this one claims to be different and not like all the rest of them and how this time shit will work out, promise… it’s still a
guy with a throat tattoo 29er. Difference is the only time a guy with a throat tattoo runs a chance of costing me $7,000 is when an uninsured one crashes their 1992 Chevy Cavalier into my car.
I recently made the mistake of having hope that things might somehow be different in 2014. 29er tires have come a long way, which is to say they are finally the 26″ tires we’ve all been using for years only bigger. Brakes have come a long way, which is to say that Shimano brakes work really well and occasionally you’ll strike brake-lottery-gold and get a set of Avids that don’t blow chunks. Suspension has come a long way, which is to say that most things you can buy go up and down really well or at least in the case of Fox CTD throwing enough money at it makes it go up and down really well. Rims have come a long way, which is to say that if you spend a couple grand on hoops, you can have a stiff but large rim that might last you through the whole season.
And yet, there I sat on the side of a trail thinking, “Great. Only another couple miles of riding this well over $7,000 pile. Okay. The sooner I get this thing to the bottom of the hill, the sooner I can (metaphorically) throw it in a dumpster.”
By the bottom of the hill, I had slightly changed my tune to the order of: “If I were racing bikes, I’d be stupid not to have one of these things.” Followed immediately by: “Thank the gods that I don’t race bikes any more.”