10 Years Ago.
It’s January 22nd, 2013. That means that ten years ago, on this day, R Kelly dropped a hot, steamy dollop of icky sweet jam on the world with the remix to Ignition.
If you were making bike videos ten years ago then you were doing one of two things. You either had no budget, were shooting mini-dv on a Sony VX or a PDX, and sleeping on the floor (or a couch if you were lucky) with a race team of stinky dirtbags. Option two was that you had a budget and you were shooting 16mm film which looked awesome, but it totally sucked for the “intern” who had to load mags all day, melting their arms off in a pup tent in the fucking Utah desert. Third option was that you were Thor Wixom and you were mixing your own terrible soundtracks using royalty free loops but since he was the only one doing that, he’s sort of an outlier.
Nowadays, if you’re making bike videos, you’re doing one of two things. You either have no budget, are shooting nothing in focus on a crappy digital Rebel (or a 7d if your parents are helping you out), and sleeping on the floor (or a couch if you are lucky) with a race team of stinky dirtbags that barely has any races left to attend. Option two is that you have a budget, you’re shooting on REDs (because why have a down payment on a house when you can own a little black piece of shit box?) which look alright, but it totally sucks for the “intern” who has to download cards all day to a stack of hard drives that are melting under not only their own RAIDed heat but that of the fucking Utah desert. Third option is that you’re Dakota Roche and you think that somehow it was better ten years ago and you’re still shooting stacks of mini-dv tapes through barely functioning Sony VXs, but since he’s a bmx dude who can bunnyhop-360 over a downhill bike, he’s sort of an outlier.
Either way, budget or no budget, there’s a 99% chance that your videos are just going to end up on the internet on some site where half the comments are “What’s the song?” and the other half of the comments are your friends that you already know in real life saying “Sick, bro! See you on the Tuesday afternoon ride.” And it won’t matter in two days, because the video will be buried under 5 pages of other shitty videos with the same shitty comments.
You can bet that no one in mountain biking was making videos about pissing on underage girls at any point in the last decade so for today, just sit back and put Ignition Remix on repeat and be like “so what, I’m drunk.”
We’ll make a post about this again in a couple more years when the song is just old enough for R Kelly to pee on.