Doping Is For Dopes.
Yes, it’s true folks. Doping is for dopes. But only certain kinds of dopes- filthy rich dopes that have already lost half their junk.
We can’t be the only ones who have thought that Lance, and every other tour freak, was all hopped up on goofballs this whole time. Remember those old time photographs of the tour where the whole peloton is chugging bottles of wine and smoking cigs like a bunch of social misfits? That’s been replaced by straight up sociopaths getting dressed up in elf costumes to hop on bikes worth more than a house.
Whatever is happening in this image makes road racing look like the sport of kings:
But nowadays, road racing is all about being a drip. Pretty much just a bunch of moping Morrisseys having too many feelings and taking runny, steroidal shits on the dream of getting paid to ride a bike.
At least mountain biking isn’t the only part of cycling that sucks so you can take some consolation in that the next time you get fined by USAC for riding in the Teva Mountain Games.